How to Stop Self-Sabotage | Part 3

If you missed parts 1 and 2 of Jennifer Arce’s (LPC-A) Self- Sabotage Series, refer to posts from (Part 1 – Apr 2, 2024) and (Part 2 – May 17, 2024)

Building Self-Awareness to Stop Self-Sabotage

Reflecting Through Self-Care Activities

Have often do you build time into your schedule to get to know yourself? Reflecting through journaling, mindful meditation, or other self-care activities can build the self-awareness needed. It can disrupt the cycle of self-sabotage. Make a date with yourself and take some time to answer these questions:

• What does self-sabotage look like for you?
• Do you busy yourself with minor tasks to avoid an important project?
• Do you provoke arguments with other people over minor issues to escape more challenging conversations?
• Do you find ways to talk yourself out of new opportunities or tell yourself why you can’t do something?

Identifying Self-Sabotaging Behaviors

Recognizing the Patterns

As you ask yourself these questions, slow down and listen to your inner voice. We often discover a sneaky thought that disrupts progress. Notice how often you engage in negative self-talk and keep track of the things you tell yourself.

Example Reflection Prompt

Try using this prompt in your reflection. It will help you find the goal and the behavior blocking you from it. This reflection will help you understand what the negative behavior is telling you.

•  “I want to achieve (goal,) but I keep doing (behavior/s)”
• For example: “I want to drink less soda. But, I keep buying it at the store and asking my wife to order me a Dr. Pepper when she picks up dinner.””

The Power of Journaling

How Journaling Can Help

Journaling can be another tool. It can increase your awareness of how you may sabotage your goals. Daily journaling about your efforts to meet your goals can give you data about what is and isn’t working for you.  Maybe you will notice a pattern of frustrations or complaints that you can address.

Daily Journaling for Self-Awareness

If you aren’t sure how to do so on your own, you can share with a therapist. They will work with you to find ways to overcome the barriers. It can also help to work with a therapist. This is if you think your self-sabotage comes from past trauma. Resolving any underlying emotional pain may be an essential step toward accomplishing your goals.

Seeking Professional Help

Working with a Therapist

Once you start spotting your self-defeating behavior patterns, you may see how they hurt your work, friends, and love. This can cause sadness, anger, and grief.  It is important to be gentle with yourself and learn to sit with the difficult feelings that may come up for you.

Addressing Past Trauma

Practicing mindful breathing and meditation can help you stay present amidst discomfort. They help you notice when you are being too hard on yourself.

Dealing with Difficult Emotions

Spotting Self-Defeating Patterns

One of the most effective tools in stopping self-sabotaging behavior is to…communicate! This step may seem like the simplest but can often be the scariest. Many who self-sabotage don’t want to share their insecurities. But, the benefits of taking that leap can be a big help.

Practicing Mindfulness and Meditation

Talking about our fears and saying them out loud can make them less scary. Also, sharing your goals will help you build accountability and support.

The Importance of Communication

Sharing Your Fears and Goals

Remember to be kind to yourself. You’ll find patterns of self-sabotage. Use the best support system for you.

Building Accountability and Support

The Bariatric Counseling Center is a great place to revise your weight loss goals. We can offer the support and tools you need to make the healthy, lasting lifestyle you want. Make the decision today to not self-sabotage and move toward your desired life, give us a call! 210-634-2200