If you missed part 1 of this series, please see the post from (Apr 2, 2024).
Common Self-Sabotage Behavior Patterns
How can we tell if we are self-sabotaging? In order to do so, we must develop self-awareness and identify our unhelpful patterns of behavior. By noticing certain behavior patterns, we can learn how we tend to get in our own way. Consider the questions included below and see if you recognize yourself in any of these patterns. Ask a trusted loved one for feedback too, they can often help us identify how we self-sabotage better than we can.
Perfectionism as a Form of Self-Sabotage
One unhelpful behavior pattern to notice is perfectionism. Perfectionism happens when obsessing about getting details just right gets in the way of trying something new. It gets in the way of starting a project or making progress. In these cases, anxiety can make us focus more on doing something perfectly. We focus on that, rather than on getting something done or enjoying doing it. Do you ever find yourself obsessively researching? Do you try to create a complete start-to-finish plan for a new opportunity before even taking the first step? This is reflective of perfectionism.
Poor Boundaries
Another unhelpful behavior pattern comes from struggling to set proper boundaries. Sometimes we view overcommitting our time, energy, and/or resources as a measure of success and high achievement. Often, we are really just putting our desire to please or impress others over our own healthier needs and goals. Finding ourselves running on empty is also due to poor boundary-setting. We neglect our needs to get more done, but find little joy in it. How often do you find yourself overeating at night because you were “too busy” to eat throughout the day? This is a common example of how we neglect our most fundamental needs.
Procrastination
Procrastination is another self-sabotaging tendency. It can show low self-confidence, anxiety, overcommitment, or perfectionism. Or, it can show a lack of resources. We put off getting things done because we feel doubtful or uninspired. This gets in the way of doing our best. We might not end up with the time and resources to complete the task well. Why do we so often tell ourselves we will start exercising or eating healthier meals “on Monday”? Why not take some steps towards our goals today?
Difficulty Asking for Help
Do you find yourself frequently feeling reluctant to ask for help? We live in a society that celebrates independence and self-sufficiency. But, why not ask for the support we are often willing to offer others? You may worry that asking for help shows weakness and failure. But, consider that you are giving someone a chance to feel helpful, useful, and valued. This can be even truer than making yourself vulnerable. Being in community with others can meet a variety of our needs and offers the connection so many of us crave as we try new things.
Other Potential Signs of Self-Sabotage:
- Controlling or micromanaging behavior
- Picking fights or starting conflicts with colleagues and loved ones
- Setting goals that are too low or too high
- Avoiding or withdrawing from others
- Negative self-talk and extreme self-criticism
- Making excuses or blaming others
- Substance abuse, overspending, or “overdoing it” in other ways.
- Constantly seeking approval or guidance from others
- Reluctance to speak up for yourself
The Registered Dietitians and licensed mental health professionals at The Bariatric Counseling Center can help you see how you may be harming your eating or exercise habits with self-sabotage. Many struggle with weight loss, overeating, binge eating, and emotional eating. Many feel they self-sabotage as soon as they see progress towards their goals. Our team can help you to find out why and make progress without self-sabotage.
Our Onsite or Virtual Intensive Outpatient Program is a great place to start a new journey. You will be surrounded by people who are feeling and thinking many of the same things as you. If you are located anywhere in Texas and struggling with weight loss, we would love to offer you support and encouragement to make the lifestyle changes you need to achieve your health and weight loss goals!
